


The Letter From The Boy He Loved

by happyboi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys In Love, Character Death, Crying, Gen, Help, How Do I Tag, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, Men Crying, Presumed Dead, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad and Sweet, True Love, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27872545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyboi/pseuds/happyboi
Summary: can a letter hold all of his love without it drowning in his lovers tears
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	The Letter From The Boy He Loved

**Author's Note:**

> I made this for my friend because I wanted to make her cry. And I don't wanna sound emotionally drained but I'm not one to cry easily but I was crying writing this. I also don't know how to italicize something without screwing up the whole thing so the ' represent the letter n stuff. But anyways I wrote this at 2 am on a Friday so enjoy.
> 
> -

It was never supposed to end up like this, no no no they were gonna get married, have two beautiful kids, grow old together, love each other, it was, it was never supposed to end like this no not this way. It’s just a cruel joke, a nightmare. He’ll wake up on the flower field holding his hand, laughing with him, seeing him in the light, and admire every single star with him. But now all that’s left is a letter and a box. A box a mystery, a box of fear, fear of what could be inside. Looking down at the letter is all he could do. He could only look at it. He’s not shaking, not crying, not sad, not happy, he’s just a shell holding a piece of his heart, a piece that could never be put back. He moved his arm, only for it to betray his mind. So he opened the letter,

‘Dear Iwaizumi,’

No no no no, he didn’t like this, no not at all. He thought, he knew, he would break, crumble, become a firefly in the night, a star in the night, a shatter in the glass, his dreams. His mind and heart were on different terms, one wanting it all to be fake, a hoax. But he knew, he knew it was true everything around him, everything happening is real.

‘I sometimes write poems, and when I read them, I then realize there about you. I’ve been waiting to tell you this - even so - I’ve waited since we were kids when I first realized. But first I wanna say your stupid, dumb, and an asshole but I love and adore you. You’re special to me. You’re the one I didn’t care I lost sleepover, the one I never got tired talking to, and the only one who crossed my mind every day, hour, minute, and second. You’re the one who could make me smile without trying, the one who could make me happy but just looking at me. I can’t exactly explain it with words, it’s funny I’ve been planning this for months but now I don’t know what to say. I used to think I couldn’t go a day without your love. Because loving you isn’t an event or occasion. It doesn’t just happen once, it happens over and over again. Like when you pick me a flower, or when we dance under the night’s eyes and knowing, hoping it’ll last forever. But there is something I’ve known since I was a child, I knew death would take me. I don’t necessarily hate death nor was I afraid of it, it was more of not wanting to leave you. I hated death because it would take me away from you. I wish we could’ve written our story in the stars maybe we could’ve had a happy ending. But nobody can go back to the beginning, I wish there were a pause button though, not to stop life forever but to look at what we’ve done and look at it for lifetimes before pressing play again. But there’s something I need to say it’s getting harder to keep it from you please but don’t forget me. It’s selfish and painful but I’m terrified you’ll forget me. It's more terrifying than me never seeing you again. But I know for certain that we never lose love. They say love beyond the world cannot be separated. Not even death can kill love. That love continues in life either in your soul or the fireflies dancing in the night's blank canvas or the way you have sung your favorite songs for me. I’ll still be your brightest star, so don’t cry take this as a key to open a new door. I’ll love you forever, even more than the stars. My darling lover.

Goodbye, my firefly,  
Oikawa Toru’

Once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. He bent forward where he sat on the floor pressing palms to the mat, he began to cry. Tears of pain running down his cheeks. A stream of grief falling from his eye. He bleeds the salt of his soul and as it pours from his eyes. Hot torrents of grief coursed down his face. Tears engulfing the paper the last will of the one he loved. “I-I promise Toruu,” tears spilled over and flowed down they kept coming never going to stop, lasting forever “I’ll always love you.” he looked over at the box his heart shattering even more. He reached out a hand moving the box towards him. In front of him sat a blue box wrapped in white ribbon. 

He reached for the ribbon, untying it gently afraid he's gonna break the only thing he has left. He closes his eyes gently opening the lid. He’s not ready he can’t do it, his heart is weak, it’s broken, shattered, smashed. He feels waves of emotions and tears build up. Slowly opening his eyes to see flowers on a bed of colorful notes. His mouth is dry, he can’t feel his legs, his eyes sting with tears. “T-Toruu.” he picks up a flower with calloused hands softly petting the petals, looking down again he picks up one note, ‘day 58, I visited the beach and saw a sea shell and I thought of you’ he looked at the other notes ‘day 40, day 121, day 68’ there were notes from the 3rd year of middle school to his last days. He saw a card on top bigger than the others grabbing it with shaky hands it read it aloud, “all the times I fell for you more, and the flowers you picked for me, love, Toruu.” he began to cry once more waves of tears flowing love, guilt, pain, grief, he felt weak, hopeless, fragile. 

Placing down the card and standing up, he walks outside and runs, runs to a place where he belongs, a place where his soul is, a piece of his heart, running to the field of his dreams. He ran and ran not stopping until he felt the flowers under his feet the fireflies escaping into the night. And once he got there he fell, he fell onto his knees lifting his head only to see a single firefly left. And he knew. 

“Toruu.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is my second fic ever written that I actually finish and publish anyways please comment ideas or anything bc I need some ideas and lmk if I should make another part of some sort but I hope you liked it


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